Check Those Boobs!

It's not all funny ha ha all the time here at Booby Chick. It's October, otherwise known as Breast Cancer Awareness, Prevention, etc. Month.

So, do your self exams. Here's a cool tool to help.

And a five-step guide.

And don't forget to click to fund free mammograms.

One of my coworkers is being treated for breast cancer right now. Check those boobs!

If you know someone who has breast cancer and you knit, you could make this booby scarf.

Or Knitty's famous tit bits.

Check those boobs!

Meet Bambi

Saw this bit of silliness today:

Your Boobies' Names Are...

Bambi and Thumper

Boobie Name Generator

Does anyone actually name their breasts? I know some guys have names for their, uh, parts, but haven't enountered any women who do, other than referring to them as "the girls."

Perfect Breasts

I once read an interview with Naomi Campbell and she said her mother had told her the perfect breasts are the ones that can fit into champagne glasses.

I assume she meant the shallow, wide glasses, not the long, pointy champagne flutes. Those would be some fembot-like boobs.

I was several years younger when I read this and my boobs were much smaller(oh for the days of D, or hell, even DD!). But even then, they were too big to fit into any glasses, except for maybe those goblets Mexican restaurants use to serve their jumbo margaritas, you know the ones so big that, when you order, the waiter tries to tell you it's too big for one person?

So now that I am way beyond any kind of drinking receptacle, I wonder, what is the perfect size for boobs? Back when I was a DD, I used to think that a nice C cup was perfect. Now, I look back fondly on those double D days. But my middle has grown with the boobs (sadly), and I need my boobs to be sizeable in order to look balanced. Or at least to fool people into thinking my stomach is smaller by comparison! But I wouldn't mind being a nice big F. At least I'd have more bra options. I am so used to my boobs being one of my assets that I don't think I'd like going to average; I still want to be on the plus side, just maybe a little less so! That would be perfect, for me at least.

Party on the Balcony

The French are funny. They have a slang phrase: Il y a du monde au balcon. Literally, this means "there is a crowd on the balcony." But it is slang for "big boobs."

Amazingly enough, I did not learn this phrase during the 11 months I spent studying and playing (really playing more than studying) in the south of France. No, I heard it on Conan. Kevin Klein was appearing and he said that he always picks up new dirty phrases when he works in France. That was the one example he shared.

Mr. Booby Chick loves the phrase. I have to admit when he said, in a certain voice, yesterday: "there are a lot of people in the balcony" I glanced outside to see why there were people on our porch and what were they doing. Oh, yeah, I remembered, my balcony and looked down. Definitely a lot of people there. Sigh.

Bras

Say the word "bra" to a booby chick and watch the reaction. Sadly, we don't often have good relationships with our bras. First of all, finding one that fits is often impossible. Magazine articles that talk about the proper fit are sooo helpful. Measure your ribcage, then measure the chest at its fullest part. Then subtract chest minus ribcage. If the difference is one inch, you are an A, two a B, three a C, four a D and five a DD. And there it stops. Ok, so what if your number is bigger than five? What if it is closer to--oh let's just say 10 inches, just in theory—what size are you? Is there even a letter that goes that high? Haven't I passed Z by now?

Well, ok, so I found this site, with a couple of decent descriptions for measuring bra size (and it goes above a DD).

But the best thing I ever did was get myself measured in a shop. But not at a Victoria's Secret (whose "full figured" line is anything but). I went to this beautiful shop in Chicago called Trousseau. My friend (another booby chick) and I visited and were measured by the owner, who was so helpful and sweet. We each got a few bras. I ended up with a simple Fantasie no-line bra and two Le Msytere bras (apparently, Oprah's favorite bra). I ended up returning one of the Msysteres. I found that they gave me the "double boob" or "bubble boob" effect (you know, where your boob bubbles up over the cup. Not very attractive.). And the one that I kept broke after a year, even though I wore it very infrequently and hand washed it. But, still I loved Trousseau and wish that I could get there more often, but it's a little difficult to make the trip now that I am living in Maryland.

So let's say you do find a bra that fits. Most likely it is UGLY. Bras for the booby are usually granny-like. It's like the bra manufacturers either think we don't need any other allurement because our boobs are so big, or that they are TOO big and no man will ever want us, thus no need for a pretty bra. Well, I say we deserve—and need—pretty bras just as much, if not more, than our small breasted sisters.

And I have found the perfect shop. It is called Bravissimo, whose slogan is "swimwear, lingerie & clothing for big boobed women." Perfect right? Well, it would be were the shop not based in the UK with no plans to cross the Atlantic anytime soon. Though if they do, they should open shop in Baltimore or--at least--D.C. first, not New York! However, you can buy online. It has a great Web site, very well organized. And best of all, the bras are pretty! Really, really pretty. In fun colors and pretty laces and sizes up to JJ in some bras. The bathing suits are great too. I haven't tried any clothing yet. But the tanks w/ built in bras look interesting. Someday, I will go to the UK with the primary purpose being visiting one of their shops, but in the meantime, I order online. I get my orders quickly (usually within two weeks, but remember, I am on the East Coast). And returns are easy. I just run over to the post office. Of course, this all costs a bit more, but I am willing to pay for a good bra that actually fits and is pretty.

In the U.S, Lady Grace lets you search by size (up to 56 G), but I've found that the bras aren't very pretty, at least in my size.

Anybody else have tips for where you can find a decent bra in the US?

Booby Chicks Unite!

It is time for the breast-abundant to rise up and celebrate your boobs. Just don't rise too fast or you might knock yourself out with swinging cleavage.

Welcome to my new blog about booby girls. I guess some guys have boobs but I am not going to really address their issues. I'm just going to write about what it's like to be a girl with big boobs. It's not going to be ground-breaking stuff, but I think it will be funny most of the time, serious sometimes, and helpful all the time.

So let's start with the "shelf." Booby chicks know what this is. It is what you see when you look down. Some men refer to it as the "rack." But I think shelf is better. The shelf is good for holding things: a pencil, yarn, knitting needles (yeah, Ok, I knit too), an apple, paper clips, lip balm, etc. Of course, the cleavage is also a great place to store keys, credit cards, cash, coat check tickets. Booby girls don't need to carry purses when they go out at night.

The shelf also catches food when you drop it. This is helpful when you are eating a cookie. Not so helpful when it is soup. All booby chicks have shirts with unfortunate stains. Who but the booby know what it feels like to spill on the shelf the very first time we wore a new shirt?

Do the boobless have stained pants?

So the booby get used to leaning WAY over when eating soup or anything with a red sauce. Some wear dark colors to mask the stains. I say, no more. We deserve to wear pastels too. When I am at home, I make my shelf work for me by resting a kitchen towel on it. See I protect the shelf by using the shelf. Brilliant.